Pasted

Previous Parts:
 Entropic Arc
 The End of a Saga (Part 1) - https://pastebin.com/9w27Erq7 (August 23, 2022)
The Road to Finding Inner Peace Within Myself (Part 2) - https://pastebin.com/rXaQxdwR (Sept. 25, 2022)
The Time Dilation Effect (Part 3) - https://pastebin.com/AAa2iAxa (Oct. 12, 2022)
The Ultimate Sacrifice (Part 4) - https://pastebin.com/SvbkA8FC (Oct. 24, 2022)
The Nomad's Guide to the Digital Life (Part 5) - https://pastebin.com/S21MY4pN (Nov. 9, 2022)
 Grand Sky Arc
 Dawn of a Stoic, Holistic, Intimate, Empathetic Hero (Current, Dec. 6, 2022) - https://pastebin.com/7FSs02ZK
_____________________________________________________
 Throughout my entire lifetime, I haven’t found much of a purpose with my life in general outside of working to the best of my ability and coming home to rest. People go crazy over chasing the cliches of having that ideal job, the ideal partner, the ideal family and house, making enough money to be set for life. Or in social media speak, get over 1 million followers on TikTok or be a relevant person on YouTube/Twitch, etc. 
 Here’s the thing: None of that really made me want it so badly that I’d feel like it would make me extremely pleased. For the longest time, I’ve always wondered what made me so different as to no longer pursue any of that kind of stuff. Sure I spend a decent amount with gaming and my technology with my PC, alongside eating some decent food at restaurant since I enjoy all those. 
 As I ran out of reasons to get out of bed, the one thing I’ve decided I want to do after seeing all sorts of media (ranging from TV Shows to Anime), is that the sense of knowing great people you can count out. That you can surround yourself with and feel alright.
 The reality is post-college, everyone I knew in person disappeared. That was it. It was quite lonesome to say the least, but the solution sounded simple enough. Just keep finding and talking to all sorts of people. I had the right idea, but with the lack of keeping up a consistent conversation, I usually find myself alone. There was a charm about me that very few people picked up on. And it seemed that I was almost as animated as a introverted anime male character that would stutter quite a bit. But beneath all that, had the type of energy that would let people stay and laugh. For a moment, the spark was there and there were a couple of people that took note of it.
 My downfall really at the end of the day is that because I’m not taking the path most people are going for such as the ability to finish college, that my life is over with a heavy implication from my mom. This aspect definitely kickstarted it. From there, I’ve buried more reasons against myself, picking away every little detail about myself to the point that I started fading away like a ghost. Saying such things as wasted potential, not the most attractive looking person, noticing more people want more of a loud alpha male that can make the woman yell, “Daddy”… I especially despised the way the world works in terms of how many people are only really out just to get a quick date and leave. 
 What happened to this world and why are more people wanting only the quick and easy way out with social interaction? As a matter of fact, I was vividly upset that the world became such a place.
 So… I ended up wandering away, being a hermit and walk from one place to the next online. Desperately hoping that the status quo is not like this. All while taking the time to sort out my own feelings and thoughts. Me being depressed was not my finest moment, but it reminded me that there’s so much of me to work on…
 If there was so much of me to work on, then how will I ever make any friends at that point? It seems as my goal of being able to hang with people felt more daunting than ever. Even when I ended up meeting people on various MMOs or other platforms, there were some hits and misses. I’ve ended up enjoying places such as Chatango, League (used to, key word), Super Monday Night Combat, Final Fantasy 14.
 What ended up me popping off was Discord when I made The Phantom Thieves and a couple of years later, Press F1 for Cuddles. The origin of the second server spawning was really because I made my fair share of mistakes managing my previous staff, I was not aware of the responsibilities of leading people at that point even though it grew to over 1300 people at that point. 
 The people that have stayed and became staff of their own accord became some of my greatest friends that I got to see some people in person because of that. And that’s a really awesome feeling to have.
 In due time though, I know my Discord people know that my servers can always be their home. However, I know that a fair share of them are living their own lives. With that being said, I’ve decided to go on a grand journey. The most enticing one of them all.
 VRChat.
 I’ve taken all of the knowledge and lessons I’ve learned with life thus far, carried it on my back and started this journey in the summer of 2019. Getting my Valve Index and Full Body shortly after when the launch of the Valve Index came to be on September 2019.
 It’s been a few years since and it’s now almost the start of 2023. I have to say, what a wild ride it has been. Because of the nature of the virtual world in itself, being able to be next to a person virtually becomes more personal than before. Almost every single day I’ve been on VRChat, I jumped straight into joining Hot Public lobbies.
 And you know? For almost three years, I’ve wandered the place alone without a friend group. No partners. Nothing. And on top of that, most of the time I spent laying there on my bed, talking to people casually and that was about it.
 I’ve learned many things from other people how the social landscape worked. I’ve learned more bad than there are good. But the good moments while short lived, they felt amazing. It seemed that I’ve been getting along with a lot of mutes because of my nature in rambling about random stuff and paying attention to what they do or say. I still am not fluent to the ASL language to this day, but I make do with observing their gestures. 
 It seems that when you’re grouped with people you vibe with really well is when you tend to express yourself more. The couple of groups I was in early on all eventually did their own thing without me being there. But I still got to hear back from them about once every several months.
 Eventually, I was fatigued with chasing people around on orange statuses since the majority don’t reply back on them. So I made it a new policy moving forward I’ll be on Blue and I’ll let people come find me instead. When I did that, I found out some of the best people I’ve known would end up visiting on a weekly basis and it was really pleasant. I dubbed this moment becoming a Nomad and wander around in VRChat alone.
 Now, recall that I had been depressed in the past. That still carried with me, which over time ate my entire soul and being away. I refused to let that darn thing rule over my entire life, but I had no other course of action to resolve it except for continuing to live on with it. 
 Or so I thought there was no solution. Over time, I’ve met people that became regulars that had join on me when I was on, ended up having random silly conversations here and there. And in turn, hear what their lives are like. I figured, “Alright at least I know I’m alright company when I put my mind to it.” In due time, there were some very notable people I’ve met despite me not seeing them as often. One person I dub her as the “Starbucks Lady”, always go to her to talk about coffee and have a chill atmosphere. 
 Time moves on, and before you know it in 2022, I’ve had quite a sad spell that ended up persisting throughout the first quarter of it. But I’ve decided that it’s time to do something different and wear my emotions on my sleeve, and just speak out when I’m not feeling well. The first notable thing that did happen on New Years Day, I ended up meeting a really chill guy that I’m still a really good homie to this day. I’ve been there for this guy through his adventures in VR, the online life, even went through a relationship in the process. All the guy wants to do is to chill with the homies, but his deep voice gets him unintentionally in trouble as many people want him for his voice and only that… Which is quite sad…
 There’s a lady that I always admired and thought she’s cool for working with her passion with roleplay groups and making avatars. At the end of 2021, I ended up chilling in the Rest and Sleep World. I saw on their bio that they do all sorts of neat content and nodded to that. I laid there on the floor by the stairs. She chilled on the stairs. At the time, I had quite a sad spell that I couldn’t feel all that much. Before you know it, the distance was closed and ended up headpatting me for a couple of minutes. My voice slowly warmed up and said, “Thank you…” with a meekly, dry voice. She ended up introducing herself as such, and had quite a soothing voice. 
 While I only got to meet her on a few rare occasions, every time we did hang out it had such meaning. But the interesting thing was she ended up coming by to see me each time it happened.
 Almost around the peak of May 15th, she showed up again after a two month hiatus, I was stoked to see her and wanted to catch up so we went somewhere else. But something really bothered me with the way society has been trending downhill. I expressed that there’s not really that many quality people to talk to left because the majority of the people only care about superficial stuff such as being popular in a club world, popular on social media, and speed running their way to having a date. Try as I might, I felt discouraged and my morale low from endlessly world hopping not being able to find people worth talking to. But at least I said to myself, that anyone worth my time I’ll do the best I can to help them.
 I got to catch up from her hiatus, downscaling their hobbies and not having the greatest time. Drama happens, part of social interaction. Eventually, she continued and said this…
 “… It’s nice to hear though that you are still here to talk to people. You know, people deserve to be helped… Especially you.”
 Especially me? W-what… My entire body was starting to warm up and my chest gushed. I almost fainted from the sheer amount of heat. I had to ask back on the spot since those words kept echoing, “Especially you”. That’s just deliberate. 
 “Do you… Do you actually like me?”
 “Like you? Dare I say, I actually love you.”
 Time stood still, time froze. By that time I ended up leaning my head against her lap. After a few more words, we’ve formed a romantic relationship. The times we end up hanging out, we caught up with what we’ve been doing with our lives, bonded together. I’ve even learned by extension how she was able to read my emotions. She was the only person with the most empath abilities I’ve ever met. Which lasted until the end of August and it was mutual at the end of the day. 
 But that relationship in particular I found quite special, because it broke the barrier I had with not dating someone for almost a decade. Those walls were completely broken. Sure, a relationship ending can be sad, but what was more sad is that I realized that I gave it my all and realized I still had a lot of things within myself to fix. The temporary glue/tape holding me together stopped working, and that sad spell hit me hard it felt more like a bigger wave of depression.
 This time around, I decided not to throw myself to the usual popular public lobbies. I decided to settle down in Genshin lobbies and stayed in them for the next few months. However, the start of being in those lobbies, I ended up breaking down crying. And a very fortunate soul had noticed me, but she didn’t know how to approach me right away. She eventually sat next to me, comforted me, and her friend group surrounded me. It was very profound that a random stranger would reach out to me, but it was free help I took up on… By crying a lot in front of them.
 She always has my back and still does, as she became another key to being able to carry myself. She was quite logical when it came to talking about society and life issues. The most famous quote she says to me when my mind is veering off to a negative thought is, “I’m gonna get ya!” 
 Then I’ve met a really wholesome lady who meows a lot. She has a really big heart and showed me that caring for other people is really as simple as appreciating a person for who they are personality wise. Even told me that I can do amazing things by just being there for other people. Don’t stop being myself, and don’t live my entire life being sad. It’s been a while since I got to hear her, but I honestly wish her the best.
 In due time, I stumbled across a VRC Avatar Creator that makes quest compatible Genshin Avatars. She also saw me sitting there by myself and at the time, I was still sorting out my thoughts on my own meaning of life. But she chilled next to me. We said a few random memes to each other. Then a hug formed. We became friends and I offered a chill time to hang out and let her talk about what’s been on her mind. It felt very nice that she makes time to make avatars and give time to hang out with their friends and other loved ones. I’m very impressed with her in being able to keep up that sort of balance. When I was still at a loss with my emotions & my issue on what I’m missing mentally speaking, she always reminded me that I’m a great person and enjoyed being around me for company. It definitely warmed my heart up to say the least, and I’m glad I was able to attend to their social gatherings.
 By the time I got into Diluc’s Tavern, I ended up meeting more and more regulars over time. Almost all of them added me first to their friend list after giving a decent conversation. I felt like I have a place to call home. 
 I eventually met another wonderful person who has an adorable laugh but when you have something plaguing your mind. They are very thoughtful and empathetic, almost as their words give you a sense of inspiration. On top of that, they gave me the most important lesson of them all that I was even stumped with. They told me that despite all my flaws or how sad I’m feeling. That me existing and talking to people… That “You’re enough. Actually, you’re more than enough.” And yet again, I gushed really hard. 
 I’ve even have vivid flashbacks… Of all the people that enjoyed my company a ton only to tell me they’ve all liked me. That I’m worth living. That I’m worth it as a person. That I make a huge impact  Not even the passing of time would change their opinion of me. It’s likely because I’ve listened to all of them and said my two cents, but from their perspective, it meant the world that my two cents actually encouraged them to keep moving forward and living their lives.
 Before you know it, the Ice Age dawned in my heart ended up melting after so many years. It took so many people to pick away at it so people can finally see me smile. To hear me laugh, for me to start making so many terrible jokes, and to rekindle my passion for just being myself. And to always continue looking forward to talking with other people.
 I’ve had reservations for the longest time about romantic relationships, and it seems that there are only certain things you can experience and learn when you allow someone that close and share them your vulnerabilities… What I did not anticipate is that I’d get myself involved in one. It just seems that if you get into a romantic relationship solely for a short term goal or rush into one, they’re bound to not last long.
 Though, while I’ve stopped chasing romance… It seems that in due time, it comes back to find me in one way or another. And all those people that did speak up were the kindest people around. That they all attended to what I said. The greatest listeners I could ever have. If people were all that nice, you know? It’s another reason to live life.
 With this strengthened heart, I’m even stronger than before. I want to continue adventuring and meet even more people who are really awesome. I want to be surprised with what kind of awesome people there are. I want to live. I’m fine that not everyone’s going to hang out with you forever.
 Because I believe that if you treat them well and you don’t see them again, a part of you will always live on inside of their heart. It’s really my secret to being altruistic with all kinds of relationships regardless if it’s platonic, romantic or somewhere in between. 
 Everyone has the right to live their lives to the fullest (long as it’s not law breaking), and life’s good.
 As for me? I’ll end up being the biggest dork ever, I’ll laugh up a storm, make cheesy jokes. Live myself to the part and spontaneously do silly things in the process. Because that’s just how Crit does things. Who cares of I’m not this E-Boy 7 foot tall avatar or a gigachad.
 I know my place. I’m a big nerd, I make the big cheese with my jokes. And I’ll continue to roam the world on my own terms. 
 It’s time I raise the torchlight and let it burn as bright as it can. 
 I honestly just want to get back to chilling and having fun again. And have lots of cuddles, yes yes. Definitely that too hah hah.
 Here I come world, you better be ready for me because Critical Hit’s back in action. I’ll either make you laugh, make you smile, or cringe you away. Ah well, least I entertained you now.
 You see… The reason why I came back with such fire in my eyes, and a heart made of gold… Is because I risked my entire life away and put myself out there to meet new people. I got hurt from time to time, sure. But by learning from your mistakes and being careful… My entire body runs so hot because of the amount of love and passion people gave to me.
 I really appreciate my life now. It’s time I’ll live it, and start making an even bigger impact. 
 It starts right here, right now, and I want you reading this right now to continue being a part of my life.