//in ascending order of absolute investment changes.
//some changes correspond to purchasing/liquidating (e.g. horsery contracts), but almost all just correspond to sadness.

item name	value change
Kramco Industries packing cartons	-115,000,000
Horsery contracts	-93,081,680
salty slugs	-63,675,248
cornucopias	-44,668,800
Buddy Bjorn	-42,340,000
bowls of Tastee-Wheet™	-37,375,000
eldritch effluvia	-33,047,492
Pantsgiving	-20,000,000
silent A	-16,010,971
picky tweezers	-16,000,000
stuffing fluffers	-15,120,258
SongBoom™ BoomBox Boxs	-13,999,995
Greatest American Pants	-10,250,000
Racisto Ruidosos	-10,087,800
Pokéfam Guides to Capturing All of Theme	-8,400,000
KoL Con 13 snowglobes	-8,000,000
Little Geneticist DNA-Splicing Lab	-7,999,999
Batfellow comics	-7,999,996
Camp Scout backpack	-7,800,000
voter registration forms	-7,499,995
power pills	-7,395,000
burning newspapers	-7,203,078
pine cone necklaces	-5,000,000
frozen banquets	-4,722,120
LCD games: Burger Belt	-4,419,954
fruits basket	-4,083,200
Dust bunnies	-3,768,207
Eldritch snaps	-3,552,000
Sister Accessory	-3,000,000
tiny plastic Charities the Zombie Hunters	-2,829,000
Neverending Party invitation envelope	-2,750,000
Miniborg Destroy-O-Bots	-2,455,556
handfuls of Smithereens	-2,405,250
eldritch mushrooms	-2,245,500
octolus-skin cloak	-2,094,923
kitten burglars	-2,000,000
God Lobster Eggs	-1,800,000
iFlails	-1,799,998
jars of Mayo de Mayo™ mayo	-1,500,000
vintage smart drinks	-1,480,000
mafia filofaxs	-1,320,198
right bear arms	-1,260,000
cabbage-flavored Mr. Mediocrebars	-1,206,205
blundarrrbusses	-1,045,758
silent N	-1,000,000
left bear arms	-928,500
Flasksfull of Hollow	-867,270
resolutions: be happier	-840,885
angry inches	-827,280
alien force field disruptor beans	-610,500
resolutions: be more adventurous	-604,000
Kudzu salad	-600,000
antique tacklebox	-600,000
emergency margaritas	-598,650
Boxing Day care package	-500,000
balls of mimeplasm	-490,000
golden tattoo guns	-450,003
Time Bandit Time Towel	-450,000
bottles of single-barrel whiskey	-400,000
little red book	-400,000
Crimbo candied pecans	-379,056
kobold treasure hoards	-373,983
lumps of black ichor	-344,432
jawbruisers	-341,022
bottles of Sacramento wine	-310,800
frost flowers	-301,750
hot clusters	-300,000
Drunk Uncles holo-records	-300,000
Rad Libs	-297,060
Louder Than Bombs	-295,795
pixel stars	-254,000
basaltamander buckler	-250,000
silent F	-244,481
wolfskull masks	-225,000
training scroll: Shattering Punchs	-225,000
handfuls of crayon shavings	-223,934
sorority brains	-210,000
Manual of Numberology	-200,725
blood-drive stickers	-200,000
potions of punctual companionship	-167,013
training scroll: Snokebombs	-150,000
green pills	-119,998
card sleeve	-100,000
defective Game Grid token	-100,000
warbear gyrocopters	-99,600
GOTO statements	-97,245
flasks of oil of oiliness	-95,557
haunches of accidental mutton	-85,503
bitter pills	-75,000
barrelheads	-72,000
disassembled clovers	-67,821
record of menacing silence	-55,000
hairshirt	-47,000
meteoreos	-44,200
pairs of gym shorts	-42,200
soul doorbells	-28,000
breath mints	-23,450
whisker pencils	-12,600
pairs of ironic oversized sunglasses	-11,500
offensive moustache	-11,000
Gratitude chocolates (Meat-filled)	-9,000
floaty rock necklace	-8,847
warbear breakfast machine assemblers	-3,816
yellow pixels	0
mind flayer corpses	0
mysterious chemical residues	0
lumps of clay	0
shovelfuls of dirt	0
99.44% pure maths	0
possessed sugar cubes	0
handfuls of chaos popcorn	0
tubes of silver face paint	0
powdered dice	0
desktop zen gardens	0
cupsa Mediocri tea	0
tiny die-cast Father Crimborgs	0
large boxes	0
slime stacks	0
rolls of Lobos Mints	0
bottles of Ooze-O	0
hot clusterbombs	0
handfuls of fire	0
molten bricks	0
warbear whosits	0
sprigs of peppermint	0
grape troll doll	0
warbear helm fragments	0
fudgecules	0
fish juice boxes	0
cold wads	0
dangerous jerkcicles	0
Tales of Spelunkings	0
transdermal smoke patches	0
quantum tacos	0
tennis balls	0
extra-greasy sliders	0
bottles of complex mushroom wine	0
cans of deodorant	0
twinkly wads	0
Feliz Navidads	0
tiny plastic Lord Spookyraven	0
deluxe fax machine	0
iron chain	0
Tiki lighters	0
Gratitude chocolates (bourbon-filled)	0
tiny plastic Eds the Undying	0
bottles of Twelve Night Energy	0
bottles of bubbles	0
gumshoes	0
BittyCar MeatCar	0
copies of Celsius 233	0
jewel-eyed wizard hat	0
enchanted fire extinguisher	2,000
mafia wedding rings	12,000
bottles of Temps Tempranillo	20,250
antimatter wads	25,000
warbear soda machine assemblers	34,000
Daily Affirmations: Be a Mind Master	34,360
PEEZ dispensers	38,000
abstraction: actions	42,840
Kokomo Resort Passes	45,000
swords above inappropriate prepositions	48,000
chunks of Crimbo fudge	56,000
rubber spiders	59,776
Mysterious Black Boxs	68,400
bowls of delicious star salad	81,990
bottles of meadeorite	85,162
hunks of granite	88,960
spooky hockey masks	94,446
bottles of Meteorite-Ade	97,750
perfect ice cubes	99,523
one-day tickets to That 70s Volcano	101,596
Shots of Kardashian Gin	108,400
floaty rock helmet	110,000
hot egg	119,995
stench clusters	124,586
velvet chokers	125,040
splendid martinis	129,600
copies of Trout Fishing in Loathing	142,989
Red Fox glove	156,001
sugar sheets	181,200
cashews	188,160
scrumptious reagents	207,310
Spirit Precipices	245,000
Mini-Crimbot crate	249,950
BittyCar SoulCar	250,000
grimstone masks	258,840
Crimbot ROM: Mathematical Precision	261,000
warehouse keys	272,200
Daily Affirmations: Always be Collecting	275,951
BACON	296,970
smart watches	344,000
silent beret	350,067
iced plum wines	350,480
tiny plastic four-shadowed mime	400,000
warbear accoutrements chunks	676,800
Gratitude chocolates (thyme-filled)	820,000
Staff of the Woodfire	833,334
grim fairy tales	879,580
Crimbot ROM: Rapid Prototyping	986,000
Crimbot ROMs: Ruthless Efficiency	1,000,000
locked mumming trunk	1,000,001
rotten tomatoes	1,148,000
cans of voodoo snuff	1,326,260
lumps of Brituminous coal	1,612,960
cupsa Sobrie tea	2,160,000
bottles of Ralph IX cognac	2,339,982
tiny plastic Dr. Awkwards	2,500,000
cupsa Voraci tea	2,605,100
jumping horseradishes	2,642,700
tiny costume wardrobe	3,000,000
Bastille Battalion control rig crate	3,000,000
solid shifting time weirdness	3,100,000
floaty rock pants	3,500,000
green rockets	3,540,175
New-You Club Membership Forms	4,000,000
bag of sausage linkss	4,300,000
mafia pointer finger ring	4,499,911
hopeful candle	4,900,001
Daily Affirmations: Think Win-Lose	5,270,525
glasses of warm water	6,119,286
cupsa Royal tea	7,182,500
drops of eldritch ichor	7,819,633
Crown of Thrones	9,000,000
quantities of spice melange	9,276,025
lava balaclava	17,100,000
Ultra Mega Sour Balls	17,156,000
still-beating spleens	32,640,000
d4s	39,456,434
LI-11 Motor Pool voucher	60,000,000